Why Self Care Is Not Selfish

Self care is often misunderstood as indulgent or self centered. The irony is - the more we don’t want to be selfish, the more we need to self care. Essentially, self care is about maintaining our well being so we can participate more meaningfully in our lives.

When we neglect our own needs, we gradually drain our energy leading to burnout and exhaustion presenting as a form of depression and anxiety. There is also a strong societal or cultural belief that putting others first is always the “right” thing to do. However, consistently placing ourselves last can come at a cost. We may begin to feel resentful and question “Why do I take care of everyone, but no one cares about me?” Some people may feel guilty for even having that “selfish” thought (You really can’t win!) This can lead to overwhelm and withdrawal in relationships. Self care helps restore and recharge, and show up at our full capacity. Self care is not choosing ourselves over others, but including ourselves in the equation and recognizing that our needs matter too (yes, we’re part of “everyone” too).

Importantly, self care doesn’t have to be elaborate or time consuming. We don’t have to need a spa day, or weekend getaway (unless you want one, of course). It can be as simple as regular meals and hydration, getting enough rest, checking in with our feelings, giving ourselves permission to say “no”, or engaging in activities that bring joy and connection. These may not earn many social media likes, but send a powerful message: “I matter” and “I deserve care,” which strengthens self esteem over time.

Caring for ourselves isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity.